Top Tren Ways to Get Your CRANK Mob on!
March 17th, 2008 
9 Comments
C.R.A.N.K. Mob is Saturday!!!!! The greatest F.U.N. force known to CRANK Mob are the Cubs of Cub Camp, but from the Eastside comes the #2 FUN clique in town: T.W.B.G. – the TrenWay Bike Gang. TrenWay will be giving up their status as #2, as the arrival of my brother Austin knocks the Cubs down to the #2 slot. So, to honor the TrenWay Bike Gang’s loss of status, I offer you:
The top Tren Ways to Get YOUR cRaNk MOb On!!
Wear your dancing shoes: CRANK Mob is all about a good time. There’s nothing gooder than cutting a rug the instant you dismount your bike. Are you like me, two left feet where your hands should be, and nothing but clumsy where your feet should be? Don’t worry, CRANK Mob is about enthusiasm, and abandon, so we idolize bad dancers!
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The washable marker is sexier than the sword: Have you ever felt like someone was so awesome, so great, that you wanted to tattoo your love on their forehead? CRANK Mob is the place to do that. Writing on faces is the new pink! Bring some washable markers and express yourself on the human canvass.
Practice jump roping: You’re at CRANK Mob, there is going to be jump roping. I can’t skip a rope. Or I couldn’t. Four CRaNK Mobs later I’m a double dutch world champion. Think I’m lying? Prove it, come to the Mob and challenge me!
Rest UP! If you’ve got it in you then you’re in for the night of your life. December CRANk Mob hung out with LAPD under the 405 at 3am. February CRANK Mob saw clipper hair cuts in a parking lot at a million O’clock.
Grow your hair out hippy: Stick around for the “end” of CRANK Mob and you can get a sharecut. That’s a clipper haircut by your peers. Chance you get fired? Greater than 0. Chance you enjoy yourself – 100%.
Fireworks: The first time I saw fireworks on a ride was when Skidmarcus, future C Mob legend, started jumping over fireworks in an enclosed space on July 4th. It turns out this is totally doable, does not hurt, and makes for great photos. Cave dude says: I can haz fire?
Watch Footloose Videos: This 100% irrelevant to the dancing point. Footloose is awesome. It features Kevin Bacon, who also stars in QuickSilver, one of the greatest (only) bike movies ever. Watch a few Footloose clips from YouTube before you leave the house and you’ll have the country sense for camp that leads to a memorable Mob.
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Visit the party store: Balloons, markers, streamers, stickers, candy, beads, sidewalk chalk and whistles are fixtures of the Mob. We need more. Bring it. Hit the party store up. I always find something new and funspiring when I go.
Wear a costume: Costumes have been an element of CRANk Mob from the beginning. There were clowns, Pizza Wolf, a paper mache car head, and ummm, other crazy stuff. Wear something crazy. Capes are good. Hats, awesome. SUNGLASSES! If you need help, come to Bikerowave on Saturday from 7pm-9pm for a costume making extravaganza.
Ride something crazy: Crazy bikes are the norm. There’s been a shopping cart bike, numerous tall bikes including the tallest bike in LA, Kabuki Sky. Fuzz Beast brought an amazing bike BBQ and made veggie dogs. Rumor has it that a new crazy vehicle will be at this CRAnk Mob.
Bring something to eat and drink: Long stops at 7-11 are so last month’s CRANk Mob. Also this months. Still, if you’re spending time in 7-11, you’re missing the awesome that takes place in the parking lot. Bring a little food, and your drink of choice, and you’ll be waaay happier. Just don’t end up wearing it on your face, unless you like that sort of thing.
Watch Hook: Hook is like my favorite movie ever. It’s the quintessential CRanK Mob movie. Lost boys know how to have fun, in fact that’s pretty much all they know. Satruday night that’s all you’ll be knowing, so know it well.
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NEVER EVER EVER GROW UP: You’re a kid. Admit it. Have fun, be prolific, creative, and awesome. Do it with the skill and commitment of an adult, and the choatic freewheeling happiness of a toddler with a plastic T Rex. It’s play time, SRSLY.
BANGARANG!!!!11!!
(There are thirteen items up there. That’s partly because Trenway gives 130% of FUN. It’s also because they’re unlucky and can’t count. Section FOUR punks!! I’m calling out TrenWay!!)
Author Info
This is where Alex begins to lose it…
This is where Alex begins to lose it…
hahahaha
Ahahahaha!!! You are rad Alex Thompson! I don’t care what anyone else says! Mwahahaha! TrenWay ALLLL THE WAYYYY!
i plan to have every muscle filled with fun amounts of lactic acid after this
Sadly the cat made me laugh.
I feel dirty. I need to go get some sandpaper.
Sadly? That cat is full of glorious happiness. Perfect for a Caturday night on CRANK Mob.
Dude – that cat has to make you laugh. Why is he so much better lit than the others. Why is he jumping so awkwardly? What is he thinking about? I wish I knew, he’s so dreamy!
Borfo – no bike car for you! If I started a self improvement seminar series it would be called the “No Tren Way”
I was stoked, now I’m on fiAH! i love all those movies, and I think you may have given me specific direction on a costume…on to the costume/party store and then to the costume building party!!! then for such craziness as i have never let loose/let in.
oh, i wish everyone could come to crank mob.