Mice and Men

January 28th, 2009 0 Comments

By Mihai Peteu
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“Americans spend 4.2 billion hours stuck in traffic a year at a cost of $78.2 billion, or $710 for each motorist” according to the The American Society of Civil Engineers.  Nothing that I quote or say from here on out has anything to do with convincing anyone to cycle – on the contrary, I want to continue being one of the select few that enjoys this freedom.

As I effortlessly glid past hundreds of puny robots stuck in their combustible engine vehicles this morning, Westbound on Ohio, I felt like a futuristic life form, eons ahead of Earth’s civilization.  It’s not because I could probably destroy any of those aforementioned robots in almost any sport due to my physical prowess and years of base training, it’s just the simple thought of how efficiently I make my way to work.   Your vehicle burns energy while idling or going down hills?  What?!?  That doesn’t make any sense!  That car has x00 Horse Power, why in god’s green earth am I passing you?!?

Listen, I want you out of shape fools to continue living your American dream and drive whatever vehicle tv ads, your parents, or your peers told you would be an impressive purchase.  I do enjoy the occasional chat with other cyclist life forms while I am commuting, but honestly, it wouldn’t be as cool if I had to share even more road space with new cyclists.

The status quo is just great, fuck bike activism, streetscape improvements, and Safe Routes to School, I want cycling to be slightly dangerous and exciting.   And I want your kids to grow up to be fat, so I can whoop their chubby asses in sports when they grow up and I’m in my late eighties.  Pave your driveways, widen your stank-ass roads, multiply the use of those gas-powered leaf blowers. Let LA burn, Mike Davis-style. I can always fly back to my home planet.

Helpless bastards.

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No Responses to “Mice and Men”

  1. e-rock January 28th, 2009 at 4:01 pm

    something rock your boat recently Mr. AT? Although I do agree, most people will never figure it out…

  2. rhode block January 29th, 2009 at 7:22 am

    you are one of “The Cyclists”?

  3. Alex Thompson January 30th, 2009 at 3:41 am

    Check the byline Erock and Mr. Rhode Bloc (Wendy Greuel!), this post was by Mihai.

  4. e-rock January 30th, 2009 at 9:05 am

    i can read, i just don’t do it…

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